ADMIT it - the mobile phone is the worst invention in history.

Their jarring ringtones get on your nerves, they invite teenagers to blast their Mando-pop tunes on trains and they make it socially okay for your mother-in-law to call you in the middle of the night.

But love 'em or hate 'em, folks can't live without the nifty little gadget.

Depending on who the owner is, cellphones may drip with the latest office gossip or a gazillion diabetes-inducing messages sent from a sweetheart. So attractive are these gadgets that even my 80-year-old grandmother has one (a Nokia).

Where business functions are concerned, a handset effectively doubles up as a personal secretary with Word and spreadsheet features for mobile workaholics. So, users are able to work wherever they are on the road.

The entire mobile phone package is now so sleek and sexy that it has morphed into a fashion statement. Phones like the Samsung Giorgio Armani and the LG Prada are proving that geeks and fashionistas can see eye to eye. These gizmos now cry out for attention on the wrists of Hollywood starlets like Misha Barton and have become uber props on runways.

Here are some things to look out for when picking a mobile phone.

For the executive

• Business functions

Consumers seem to love the idea of smartphones - just start up PowerPoint and you can work on those presentation slides anywhere you are.

Applications like Microsoft Office and a PDF reader are crucial because they let you read and edit Word reports, Excel files and PowerPoint slides.

A push e-mail function is also useful when you are expecting an important office e-mail message from your boss.

• 3G connectivity

So you have a major project coming up? You'll probably have to engage in video-conferences with your colleagues to go through the details.

A 3G feature enables this with ease. 3G also boasts high-speed data transfers which are great when you need to transfer files to your office mates.

For the undergraduate

• GPS function

Pop quiz: Do you remember exactly where Lecture Hall 66A, the gym and the principal's office are? And can make your way to the canteen in the other school block with your eyes closed?

If you answered 'No' to any of the questions, you probably need a phone with a global positioning system (GPS) function.

This feature displays an interactive map of Singapore on the phone screen, helping you to find your way around easily.

Some GPS systems even come with voice instructions so you know exactly where and when to turn left or right.

• 5-megapixel camera

Obviously, you won't be stuck in lecture halls every minute of your four years in school. Not with the hostel parties and sorority gatherings that you'll be invited to.

A camera-ready mobile phone is the aid of choice to document the wild parties or your friends' drunken escapades.

Many phone cameras have the goods to give regular digital cameras a run for their money. The Samsung SGH G800, for example, boasts a 5-megapixel shooter for razor sharp images.

For the teenager

• Music player function

Even the most goody-two-shoes class nerd gets tired of listening to lectures once in a while. A mobile phone that's filled with the latest chart-toppers would ease the boredom.

Phones like the SonyEricsson W350a and the Samsung Soul double up as a music player. The W350a lets you store up to 470 songs in its svelte body.

• Web browsing

For teenagers, not having a Facebook or MSN Messenger account is akin to social suicide.

A Wi-Fi-enabled mobile phone not only lets you log on to the Net whenever you fancy, but it also pings you whenever someone 'pokes' you. Even better - with Wi-Fi, you can sneak in some Web surfing during boring lectures.

For the retiree

• Easy-to-use interface

Unless your grandfather's Bill Gates, he probably won't know how to send SMS messages or surf the Web using a phone.

Instead of getting him a copy of Cellphones For Dummies, snag him a handset with an easy-to-use interface. So that he won't be baffled by a gazillion phone features and options when all he wants to do is talk and switch the phone on and off.

In particular, the phone should have one-click access to commonly used functions, so that he doesn't have to trawl through the entire menu before getting to the programme that he wants.

• Large keypad

Senior citizens probably won't fancy typing away at puny keys or squinting at the keypad. Models like the Nokia 6080 and 6070 boast large keys which let the user send messages or dial numbers comfortably.

This article was first published in Digital Life, The Straits Times on Jun 10, 2008.