Digital @ AsiaOne

Eyeballing online friends - safely

Many parents worry that their children might go to meet an online friend and never return home again. Looking up net friends in real life is not all that scary, you just have to be careful.
Anna Katerina Rara

Mon, Nov 17, 2008
Philippine Daily Inquirer, ANN

ON a cool summer day, people walking by the Ben and Jerry's store at Great World City, a mall along River Valley Road in Singapore, noticed two teenagers, both with short black hair and light-colored skin, conversing animatedly.

The girls looked like childhood friends, eyes gleaming as they spoke of anime, common acquaintances, and their lives in general. Little did the passersby know that the talkative teens in front of them had never met before in their lives.

Apprehension

My parents have time and again expressed apprehension over my using the Internet, maintaining a LiveJournal account, and living practically the past three years of my life in front of other people's eyes. My father sometimes worries about me - that one day I'll go off to meet an online pal and never return home.

I get irritated, but his unease is reasonable.

When I went to Singapore, I wrote on my online journal about Aston Apartments. My aunt generously offered to have me stay in her unit since she lived all alone.

A friend I met through an online community said it sounded familiar. Sheryl, who had turned sixteen only two weeks earlier, told me where she lived, and mentioned that it was very close to Great World City and a certain gas station that my family passed everyday when leaving River Valley.

She gave me her cell phone number, and later that afternoon I text-messaged her through my aunt's phone (of course, with Mom's permission). We exchanged messages and agreed to meet at Ben and Jerry's store at Great World City. After freshening up, I went to our meeting place with Mom in tow.

She came.

Sheryl looked very much like me. We both had 'chinky' eyes and short hair, though Sheryl's hair was shorter and thinner. (I even have the picture to prove it.) As soon as she sat down, we started talking, though we were both, for a few moments at least, tongue-tied. Or perhaps I was the only one.

Eye-opening

That encounter made my Singapore trip a joyful, eye-opening experience. What had made me happy? My parents had allowed me to meet someone whom none of us knew or had met before though Mom had had to accompany me (which actually was a relief). I realized that, although I had been given limitations, I had been trusted enough.

Perhaps not all people online are good. For every 'real' person there is on LiveJournal, there are two liars on the message boards. Many parents are becoming more guarded. I've heard of some people getting abducted when they try to meet up with those they've met online.

However, I follow my parents' guidelines. In exchange, my parents try to understand my life and my choices. When Mom asks me about what I'm doing, I am able to answer truthfully. Both my parents let me know when it is not right to give out personal information, and I listen. I'm free, but not ridiculously free like many others are. I like it better this way.

Smart

Meeting people from the Internet is simply a matter of trust and being wise about your decisions. If you're honest and smart, you'll be fine.

Since that day in Great World City, I have met other people from the Internet. Len (or Harleen), who works in Makati, met me at the mall. We ate lunch together, bought books, and watched my mom's bowling tournament - all the while chuckling at my driver's constant watchfulness.

Moku (also known as Monica), then in Miriam College and now in De La Salle University, happened to be in Subic at the time I was there, so we met up at the sports center and chatted while my brother played tennis downstairs. And while I was in the United States, I spoke several times on the phone with Shannon, a college student from California. (That doesn't exactly qualify as 'meeting,' but she was in L.A. and I was in San Francisco. Close enough!)

Thanks to the Internet, I have been to many more places and have met new people. Now my encounters are the other way around: Recently I met exchange students in Japan, and now I keep in contact with them through the Internet.

Behold the wonders of technology!

 
 
 
Copyright ©2007 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.
Privacy Statement Conditions of Access Advertise